Sunday, September 2, 2007

First encounter/Made a difference

My first encounter with a book report:

My older sister is three years my senior, and, as such, she reached all of the major developmental milestones before me. This provided fodder for her relentless teasing, and fueled my dogged commitment to keeping pace with her. She learned how to tie her shoes when she was six. Shortly thereafter I learned to tie my shoes. She learned how to read when she was six and a half. Thus, I started reading when I was about three and a half years old. So, I can't really remember the first children's book I read on my own.

I do, however, remember my first book report. I was five years old, and it was the summer before I entered second grade. Now, I don't know who suggested it, but my mother and stepfather, who were clearly desperate for some downtime, decided to assign us a book report (it was not optional). So, my sister and I foraged for some books. Although we never had a great deal of children's books in the house, because of our transitory lifestyle, we were able to locate three or four chapter books and one or two, of what I considered at the time to be, "baby books." Now, I might've chosen a chapter book, as I had just begun reading short chapter books on my own, but I reasoned that the shorter the book was the shorter my report would be; so, I settled on "Grover Goes to School," a Sesame Street book about a blue furry monster going to Kindergarten, and struggling to please everyone. It was a tale fraught with self-discovery and destined for a happy ending. After reading the book I asked my sister "What's a book report," but, of course, she refused to explain it to me. I asked my mother, but the instructions I received were obscure. So, I just rewrote the story word for word (talk about copyright infringement) put my name on the paper, and titled it book report. Then, I handed it in proudly. After reading what I'd written my stepfather handed it back to me and told me that I should have explained the story in my own words. Then, he told me to do it again. I was really miffed and I wrote something really snazzy like: "Grover goes to school. This is a story you can read if you want to it is on the bed in the room." I got in serious trouble. The end.

A story that affected my life:

I am not really a sentimental person. Don't get me wrong I get sad, but not sloppy, crying, hysterical sad. That said, the story I'm about to relay about a book that made a difference in my life should hold that much more credence. When my mother was in the army she would jog to keep physically fit, and she'd drag us along for company. We'd jog four or five miles along the army training courses, typically located in the barracks (we must have been the most physically fit children ever). My sister, more so than I, hated these jogs, but my mother would often ply us with the promise of a story. My mother is a great storyteller, but she's an even better singer. So, sometimes she would sing us spirituals, folk-songs, etc. All of which recounted folk-tales and fables. Here is my account of how one of these folk stories, impacted me as a child.

"Pad, pad, pad" our footsteps were muffled by snow. My mother was jogging steadily several feet ahead of me, and I was waiting for her to start. Although my sister had refused to come, I had agreed because my mother had promised to sing the song to me, again, and after several minutes of steady progress I felt obliged to remind her of this. So, I pulled up beside her, I was running to keep pace. She noticed (thank goodness) and slowed down to accommodate my jogging stride. "Sing it again," I huffed, "you promised."
She baited me "I did say I'd sing, but I didn't say which song I'd sing."
I was unrelenting "You knew which song I wanted to hear, and a promise is a promise!"
She rewarded me with the song. She sang in a haunting voice:

Two little children, a boy and a girl,
Set by an old church door.
The little girl's feet were as brown as the curl
That hung from the dress which she wore.
The boy's coat was faded and [torn];
A tear shone in each [his] eye[s].
"Why don't you run home to your mama?" I said,
And this was the maiden's reply:

Chorus: "Our mama's in heaven; they took her away,
And left Jim and I all alone.
We came here to sleep 'til the close of the day,
For we have no mama at home.
We can't win our bread-- too little," she said.
"Jim five years, and I'm only seven.
There's no one to love us and Papa is dead,
And our darling mama's in heaven."

"Our papa was lost out at sea long age;
We waited all night on the shore.
For he was a life-saving captain, you know.
But he never come back any more.
Then Mama got sick; angels took her away,
Away to that home warm and bright.
'They'll come for my darlings,' she told us, 'some day.'
Perhaps they are coming tonight,"

"Perhaps there's no room tonight," she said,
"For two little ones to keep."
Then placing her arms around little Jim's neck,
And kissing him. They...fell asleep.
The sexton came early to ring the church bell,
And found them beneath the snow white.
The angel's made room for two orphans to dwell
In heaven with mama that night.

Afterwards she looked over expectantly, as if prepared to answer all of the same questions I had asked her before. However, there were no questions. I said nothing, because my breath had begun to hitch and burn in my chest. I stopped running, and stood where I'd stopped doubled over and gasping for air. After several long moments I let out a wail of abject horror.
"What's wrong, baby" my mother asked wrapping me up in her arms. She might have been talking to me for several moments before I screamed, but I had been too preoccupied to notice. I sobbed inconsolably for several moments before I finally managed "It's not fair! It never changes. No matter how many times you sing it, it never changes."
"What never changes sweetie" she asked clearly confused.
"The end. They always die in the end."
My mother did her best to explain that it was only a story, that not all stories end happily, etc. Weeks before, when I'd first heard the song, I had been forced to confront my own mortality, and more disturbingly I had suddenly realized that my mother would die too. So, I had begun to pray, and I felt relatively certain that if I could bring the orphans from the song back to life through prayer this would somehow forestall the Grim Reaper altogether. That night I realized that death is the end, the final end, and that eventually death would claim everyone much as it had the two little orphans. I haven't come to a more significant realization than that.

About the song:

There have been many different musical adaptations, and the theme of orphans falling to rot and ruin is a common theme in literature (e.g. "The Matchstick Girl"). Personally, I count this as a folk-song/story and it has indeed appeared in many folk tale collections.

3 comments:

MV said...

You talk about your mom as a storyteller but I think there's another storyteller in the family ;-)

Your post read like a poem D! Such powerful thoughts and memories.

I'll have to share my report story with you someday...it played out in much the same way as your story.

v

Amiller said...

Denea,

You are a great writer. Your post created a short movie in my head. Thank you for sharing such a poignant moment in your life.

You also made me think about another issue of identity and how certain people who fall under societal labels are portrayed through texts in addition to stories passed on through spoken word. I also never considered how orphans are described and represented in texts.

hana said...

I wonder how old you were when this event took place. I enjoyed reading what you wrote and I agree that you are a very good story teller. You made me stop with you searching for breath feeling the tears in my eyes for the two orphans. I can understand why this story has a special value in your life. The best time we spend is the time we spend with our parents. Good luck Denea